Death Education Consulting

Item# 01V: A GRIEF GUIDE FOR DEALING WITH SUDDEN DEATH TRAUMA: What To Expect When A Loved One Dies With No Goodbye.

Suitable for: Any grieving individuals and their family and friends who have experienced the sudden death of a loved one, even decades in the past. Sudden death and funeral planning booklets are companion publications to be handed out together whenever possible early in a case to assist families in making funeral arrangements.
Sponsored by: The United States Department of Justice.
Booklet artwork by: Carol Boucher - http://www.carolboucher.com.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

● Chapter One:
    HOW GRIEF WORKS: Recovery, resolution and accommodation ● Expected, sudden; and sudden,
    unexpected death ● How long does grief last.
● Chapter Two:
    THE BIO-CHEMISTRY OF GRIEF: The trauma membrane™ ● The eruption stage ● The chaos stage ● The
    narcosis stage ● How long does the trauma membrane™ last.
● Chapter Three:
    THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL EFFECTS OF GRIEF: Short term effects ● Symptoms that last for hours ●
    Long term effects ● Resource Units ● What to expect emotionally ● Sleep disturbances ● Anger and
    Irritability ● Involuntary outcome revision™.
● Chapter Four:
    YOUR RIGHTS AS MOURNERS: You have a right to say no ● You have a right to your grief ● You have a right
    to recuperate ● You have a right to hear their name ● You have a right to grieve for as long as you need to.
● Chapter Five:
    TEARS AND TOXINS: Crying ● The types of tears ● What are immunomonulators ● Discharging toxins.
● Chapter Six:
    GRIEF RESOLUTION: The initial weeks ● Re-engaging life ● Involuntary resolution guilt™.
● Chapter Seven:
    TEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

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Item# 02F: PREPARING FOR YOUR FIRST VISIT WITH THE FUNERAL DIRECTOR: What To Do When You Don't Know What To Do.

Suitable for: Anyone who wants to know what information they will need to plan a funeral, either before an expected death or after any manner of death. When used by victim advocates and law enforcement, this booklet is the companion handout for survivor-victims with Item # 01V, above. Sudden death and funeral planning booklets are companion publications to be handed out together whenever possible early in a case to assist families in making funeral arrangements.
Sponsored by: The United States Department of Justice.
Booklet artwork by: Carol Boucher - http://www.carolboucher.com.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

● Chapter One:
    DEATH RITUALS: Why are death rituals and memorialization so important ● Attempting to alleviate the
    suffering of survivors ● A feeling of order and completion is necessary ● Mourning jewelry and memorial
    photography ● Unintended consequences of bypassing death rituals.
● Chapter Two:
    PLANNING A FUNERAL: There are an average of 43 decisions to make ● We don’t need to break the bank ●
    Choosing a funeral director ● Preparing for your first visit ● Making a choice ● What is the difference between
    a funeral and a memorial service ● Cremation or full-body burial ● Cremation options.
● Chapter Three:
    RITUAL CHOICES: The service: when, where, officiant, participants, musicians, pallbearers, flowers ● The
    reception.
● Chapter Four:
    CHOOSING A BURIAL CONTAINER: Caskets ● Urns ● Specialty Items.
● Chapter Five:
    PURCHASING A GRAVESITE: Choosing the cemetery ● Vaults.
● Chapter Six:
    THE OBITUARY: Newspaper obituary policy ● Information customarily included.
● Chapter Seven:
    BODY PREPARATION: Embalming ● If there will be a viewing ● Hair and makeup checklist ● Clothing
    checklist for a female ● Clothing checklist for a male ● Jewelry.
● Chapter Eight:
    THE DEATH CERTIFICATE: How is it acquired ● Why do I need certified copies of the death certificate ●
    Where does one get certified copies of the death certificate.
● Chapter Nine:
    MONUMENTS: Everything becomes memory ● The roles of the monument ● Accepting the finality of death ●
    The comfort of a monument ● Where do I buy a monument ● When should I buy a monument.
● Chapter Ten:
    MISCELLANEOUS: Cash advances ● The funeral rule ● Military Veterans ● What is the origin of some of the
    rituals at military funerals.
● Chapter Eleven:
    QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS: Do airlines have special fares for a death in the family ● Will airlines let me
    hand-carry my loved one’s cremated remains ● Is it acceptable to keep cremated remains at home ● Why do
    clergy charge a fee for officiating at funerals ● Is it legal to bury someone on private land, rather than in a
    cemetery ● Do people die of broken hearts ● Do I have to wear black to the visitation and funeral ● May I help
    dress my family member at the funeral home ● How long does grief last ● Are family members allowed to
    accompany the body to the crematory ● Is the family allowed to stay at the crematory while their loved one is
    being cremated ● Do people ever take pictures of their family member in their casket ● What are some
    special touches you would recommend.

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Item# 03A: A GRIEF HANDBOOK FOR VICTIM ADVOCATES AND CAREGIVERS: Guiding A Family Step-By-Step Through The Aftermath Of Sudden Death.

Suitable for: Victim advocates, friends, family, acquaintances and co-workers who are searching for ways to provide comfort and support to those who are grieving the death of a loved one, no matter when or how they died.
Sponsored by: The Vermont Center For Crime Victims Services.
Booklet artwork by: Carol Boucher - http://www.carolboucher.com.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

● Chapter One:
    NOTIFICATION: Accompanying the notifier ● How not to make things worse ● When children are nearby ● The
    three reaction stages™.
● Chapter Two:
    INITIAL CONTACT: Coordination with law enforcement ● The introduction packet ● Your first telephone call to
    the family ● When to make your first visit ● What to carry in your comfort kit ● Personal belongings of the
    victim ● What to say upon arrival ● Putting a face to a name ● How to refer to the victim in a way that won’t
    offend the family ● Handing over personal belongings ● How long to stay ● How to exit gracefully.
● Chapter Three:
    THE TRAUMA MEMBRANE™: How grief differs according to the manner of death ● What is the trauma
    membrane™ ● Physical and emotional symptoms ● How long does it last ● Artificial sedation.
● Chapter Four:
    MEETING IMMEDIATE GRIEF NEEDS: Transitional information™ ● How much to tell ● The funnel method™
    ● Viewing the body ● Death memory rectification™ ● Preparing the family ● Visiting the scene ● The use of
    photographs.
● Chapter Five:
    AUTOPSIES: What to tell the family ● Addressing family resistance ● Involuntary outcome revision™ ● The
    autopsy report ● Autopsy photographs.
● Chapter Six:
    SIXTEEN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

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Item# 04C: THE INVISIBLE MOURNERS: Helping Tots To Teens Cope With Death.

Expanded booklet coming soon.

Suitable for: Anyone who is looking for age-appropriate ways to explain death to young children and how to provide specialized support to bereaved teens.
Sponsored by: The United States Department of Justice.
Booklet artwork by: Carol Boucher - http://www.carolboucher.com.

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Item# 05M: GRIEF AND THE ROLE OF THE MONUMENT IN THE GRIEVING PROCESS: The Monument Is A Symbol Of Our Memories As Enduring As Our Love.

Suitable for: Anyone who needs to make a decision regarding the purchase of a gravestone..
Sponsored by: Death Education Consulting.
Booklet artwork by: Carol Boucher - http://www.carolboucher.com.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

● Chapter One:
    WHY ARE WE SO UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND DEATH: Death has become institutionalized.
● Chapter Two:
    HOW CAN WE INCREASE OUR EASE ABOUT DEATH: We’re missing a great opportunity ● We have a lack
    of suitable death education.
● Chapter Three:
    HOW DOES GRIEF WORK: Grief lasts much longer than we think it does ● Our objective with grieving people
    is frequently wrong ● When trying to help, we often cause harm.
● Chapter Four:
    WHY ARE DEATH RITUALS SO IMPORTANT: We don't do so well when it’s time to say good-bye ● Attempting
    to alleviate the suffering of our survivors.
● Chapter Five:
    WHY IS MEMORIALIZATION IMPORTANT: A feeling of order and completion is necessary ● Mourning jewelry
    and memorial photography ● Unintended consequences of bypassing death and memorialization rituals ●
    The funeral ● We don’t need to break the bank ● Choices.
● Chapter Six:
    WHY ARE MONUMENTS NECESSARY: Everything becomes memory ● The roles of the monument ●
    Accepting the finality of death ● It can represent a milestone in our journey ● The comfort of a monument.